Thirty Year Old Virgin

She duped him into kissing her when they were five. Don't judge her, she was curious. He tried to finger her when they were thirteen. Forgive him, he was delusional. Her boyfriend took revenge on his first day in college. And his attempt at fingering wasn't even successful. She knows, his heart is in his pants. He saves her from goons and she stabs him on his heart as a token of gratitude. She dumped her last boyfriend when they were making out. And he didn't come after that... for a few weeks. He dumped his last girlfriend and found a boyfriend for her, the same night. Heart of gold. He hates dogs. She has a dog by his name. Childhood friends. Childhood enemies. Hate, the single common thread between them. If he would be the last guy on this planet she will prefer to preserve her virginity till eternity. If she would be the last girl on earth he will prefer to die eunuch. They meet again. Still share the same bonhomie. But now they have another string binding them. Their hate has another companion. They don't want love but they miss sex. Love is anyways overrated. Opposite poles, as they are, they know they can never fall in love. She proposes a no holds barred physical relationship. He agrees but with caution. Which guy in his right frame of mind wouldn't? But it wasn't long before they realize that each of them wants something more than the other is willing to give. Meet Maya, the freak. She is a diva, the sparkling wine. She is unpredictable. She is fearless. She is a monster. A psychotic bitch. Meet Arnav, the geek. He is the dude, the gifted one. He is emotional. He is a jerk. He is a manipulator. A bona-fide pig.