Diary of a Wimpy Vampire Because the Undead Have F

Chloe smiled at me in maths today but this made my fangs come out so i couldn't smile back. If only i could express my true feelings for her. I might write a poem. Nigel Mullet is just your average, everyday vampire. Transformed at the awkward age of fifteen, he will remain this age forever, being forced to spend eternity coping with acne, a breaking voice, and ineptitude with girls. In this, his brilliantly funny diary, Nigel chronicles his increasingly desperate attempts to be noticed by the love of his life, Chloe, the constant mortification caused by his vampire parents (it's so embarrassing when they try and bite your friends), and how unfair everything feels when you've been undead for over eighty years and you've never had a girlfriend. Forced to hang out with the goths and emo kids in an effort to blend in, and constantly battling his confusing desire to sink his fangs into Chloe's neck, will Nigel ever get his girl?