I Want to Destroy Myself: A Memoir

‘The issue Malika raises through her book is how even ‘progressive’ husbands treat their wife’s badly. The patriarchal attitude becomes visible within the four walls of the house. For social and gender equality patriarchal values need to go. The book is a must read for the women and Dalit activists, students, researchers and those who believe in the gender equality’. - Free Press Journal ‘This translation from Marathi by Jerry Pinto is tender and unobtrusive’. - Outlook ‘Malika Amar Shaikh’s forthright self-portrait—and Jerry Pinto’s translation that opens it to non-Marathi readers—is a disturbing yet luminous read’. - Open Magazine ‘Malika Amar Shaikh looks back at a life closely entwined with the Left and the Dalit movements, the souring of her marriage with Marathi poet Namdeo Dhasal and why she put the personal before the political.’—The Indian Express ‘I Want to Destroy Myself is a raw portrait of scattered dreams, love defeated, self-respect crushed, and a story of the valour to survive and live a life of meaning. Malika does keep her poetry alive.’—Kitaab.org ‘I Want To Destroy Myself’ is the angry, searing account of the Dalit Panther poet’s wife’s life with him’.—Scroll.in. About the Author Malika Amar Shaikh is a writer. Other than her autobiography, Mala Uddhvasta Vhaychay, her published work includes books of poetry: Valucha Priyakar (A Lover Made of Sand), Mahanagar (Metropolis), Deharutu (Seasons of the Body) and Manuspanacha Bhinga Badalyavar (When the Lens of Being Human Changes); works of fiction: Ek Hota Undir (There Was Once a Mouse), Koham Koham? (Who Am I?), Handle with Care and Jhadpanachi Ghosht (The Story of a Tree) and a biography of her father, Shahir Amar Shaikh, Sura Eka Vadalacha (The Song of a Storm). Jerry Pinto (translator) is an acclaimed poet, novelist and translator. His published work includes the award-winning novel Em and the Big Hoom and translations from the Marathi of Daya Pawar’s Baluta, Sachin Kundalkar’s Cobalt Blue and Vandana Mishra’s I, the Salt Doll.